Sometimes I find myself thinking that I wanna go home. Even when I am home. I long to go back to my hometown. When i think about our old apartment, i feel a kind of security. I was a kid. I had fewer responsibilities. Life was better. I've been living in the city for quite a few years now. But it still feels alien to me. Like I don’t belong here and have no rights to that.

Then I remember that it wasn't so easy in my hometown. Well, maybe as literal kid. But when I entered my teenage years it wasn’t fun. Nostalgia fucks with me. More than that, even if I tried to go back I wouldn’t get a warm welcome. All the people I know from there moved, too. My parents’ friends did it ages ago. we were one of the last. Could’ve moved sooner if it wasn't for me and school. Dad started to hate the place.

Our apartment belongs to the others now. I wonder how much out apartment has changed. No, screw that. How much the whole town has changed? Yes, I can just find pics online. But it wouldn’t be the same as living there and seeing the changes in the real time. I know that there’s a Subway restaurant now, though. I found out about it from a post complaining about rats lmao.

I know that everything changes. That is life. But I can't help but feel lost. I don't know.